


Werewolves Hate Zombies

by Ilovesocks_24



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek's a bit of a scaredy-cat, Established Relationship, Failwolf Friday, Happy Halloween!, Haunted Corn Mazes, M/M, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 09:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2542871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovesocks_24/pseuds/Ilovesocks_24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the record, Derek is <em> totally </em> not afraid of taking Stiles to the Haunted Corn Maze, no matter what Laura says. Besides, what kind of werewolf is afraid of dress up zombies? Not him, that's who.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Werewolves Hate Zombies

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't watched the Ellen video's of Andy and Amy going through the Haunted House(s), I would highly recommend it. 
> 
> [ here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RLTanW1DGo)
> 
>  
> 
> [ and here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RLTanW1DGo)

“So, let me get this straight,” Laura said, smirking. “You and Stiles have been dating for the better part of nine months, and he still has absolutely no idea that you’re a werewolf?” 

“You make it sound like it’s a big deal,” Derek muttered, pointedly looking anywhere but at Laura. “It’s not.” 

“Um, hate to break it to you, Der, but it kind of is,” Laura said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not like you’re telling him something embarrassing like the fact that you were afraid of your own shadow until you were eight. But if he doesn’t know you’re a werewolf, he probably doesn’t know that either.” 

“He does know that,” Derek shot back. “He just says I’m sensitive, and it’s perfectly okay, because it balances out the muscles and the eyebrows.” 

“So your boyfriend knows that you’re a wimp, but he doesn’t know you’re a werewolf. Wow. Priorities, Derek.” 

“Shut up.”

“I hate to take sides in this, but Laura’s right,” Talia said, smiling slightly. “Stiles deserves to know. You’re not afraid that he’s going to leave you, are you?” 

“No,” Derek said, smiling inwardly at how open-minded Stiles was. They had once had a two-day conversation about how it was frowned upon to be in a polygamist relationship, even if all parties were consenting. All Derek had really gotten out of the conversation was that Stiles watched way too much ‘My Five Wives’. 

“I’m going to take that as a yes,” Laura said.

“I’m not _scared_ ,” Derek growled, letting his eyes flash briefly in warning. “I just… I haven’t really found the right time to tell him.” 

And he’d tried. Multiple times in fact. But every time he’d been able to mentally prepare himself to sit Stiles down and tell him that he was a werewolf, Stiles had come in with a completely new topic and distracted Derek until the moment was gone. 

“I can see that happening,” Talia said, nodding knowingly. “Stiles can be very unpredictable at times. But he does need to know, Derek.” 

“I know, I know,” Derek said. “I just need to have that special moment that doesn’t get ruined.”

“Oh! I know, what about the Halloween corn maze?” Laura asked excitedly. “You could go as a werewolf! And at the end of the night, you can be like, ‘Surprise! My face doesn’t come off.’” 

“That’s actually a good idea,” Talia said. “Of course, you’d have to deal with the Corn Maze, but that shouldn’t be a problem. And I can’t think of a better opportunity for you to tell Stiles the truth.” 

***

“You want to go to the Corn Maze?” Stiles asked, blinking owlishly. “Really?” 

“Yes,” Derek ground out. “Why are you having such a hard time believing this?” 

“Um, because you _hate_ scary things, Derek,” Stiles said, flailing around a little bit. “You spent half our date to ‘The Conjuring’ whimpering with your face in my neck. I mean, it was adorable, but I’m pretty sure we made a pact to keep you away from anything even remotely frightening again.” 

“Yeah, but _you_ like scary things,” Derek tried. “And I like you. So I was just thinking that it could be a fun time.” 

“Aww, you’re adorable,” Stiles said, pressing a kiss to Derek’s nose. “I’m totally filing this away when you try to go all macho man and try to pretend you don’t have feelings, like you tried to do after ‘The Conjuring.’” 

“So you’ll go?” Derek asked, refusing to let Stiles goad him into another ridiculously long argument. 

“Of course,” Stiles said, smiling brightly. “Hey, we should go as a couples costume! How fun would that be? Were you thinking about going as anything specific?” 

“Uh, yeah. A werewolf.” 

“Interesting choice,” Stiles said, cocking his head. “I could see you as a werewolf. You definitely have the muscles for it,” he added, poking Derek’s chest appreciatively. “And I think you would look good with claws and fangs and pointy ears.” 

“Werewolves don’t have pointy ears.” 

“Oh?” Stiles asked. “Because you’re the resident expert on werewolves?” 

“No—I’ve… just seen a lot of movies,” Derek stuttered, because of course Stiles would choose now of all times to ask Derek what he knows about werewolves and completely disregard all the other times that Derek had tried so hard to bring it up.

“Sure you have,” Stiles said, rolling his eyes. “Because you watch horror movies about werewolves in your spare time.” 

“I do not.” 

“Then how do you know that werewolves don’t have pointy ears?” Stiles asked.

Derek struggled to come up with another plausible explanation, because he couldn’t really reveal himself now, or Stiles would think it was a joke and wouldn’t be able to pay enough attention to take Derek seriously if he shifted. 

“I don’t,” he said, finally. 

“That’s what I thought,” Stiles said, grinning cockily. He grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels before settling on a repeat of Nightmare on Elm Street. 

“I don’t want to watch this,” Derek whined, pressing his face into Stiles’ shoulder. 

“Tough luck, Der,” Stiles said, yanking Derek’s head up. “You’re taking me to the Corn Maze soon, so you need to get used to getting scared.” 

Derek groaned and watched as Freddy Kruger terrorized the people of Elm Street. 

***

“No way.” 

“You don’t like it, do you?” 

“Are you kidding me? Derek, this is the most realistic costume I’ve ever seen,” Stiles said, mouth hanging open. “When you said you were going to be a werewolf for Halloween, I thought you were going to find some rinky-dink costume from Party City. But this is fantastic. Can I touch it?” 

Derek nodded and took a deep breath as he felt Stiles trace along his brow and sideburns. 

“Jesus, how long did this take you to do, Derek?” Stiles murmured. “This is incredible. It feels so real. And you even have claws too! Awesome! Do you have fangs?” 

“I have to put them in later,” Derek said. “It’s too hard to talk around them.” 

“Understandable, especially if they’re as life-like as the rest of your costume,” Stiles said, still shaking his head in awe. “I can’t get over this. I wish Halloween came once a month, because I could definitely get used to this.” 

Derek caught his breath, because even though Stiles didn’t know that technically he was a werewolf, it had to be a good sign that Stiles liked his ‘costume’ enough to want to see it again. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

“You’re the best,” Stiles said, pecking Derek on the cheek. “Wait, right here, I have to go get the rest of my costume.” 

“What are you supposed to be anyway?” Derek called, noticing for the first time that Stiles was still dressed in street clothes as he dashed into the house. 

“Little Red Riding Hood! You didn’t think I’d miss out on the opportunity for that one did you?” 

***

“Are you sure you want to do this?” 

“ _Yes_ , I’m sure,” Derek ground out. “Why do you keep asking me that?” 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said it was hard for you to talk with your fangs,” Stiles said, putting his hands up in defense when Derek glared at him. “You just look really uncomfortable and I swear you growled at one of the zombies in the maze.” 

“I don’t like zombies.” 

“Yeah, and I don’t like it when you’re uncomfortable, even if you are because you’re doing something to make me happy,” Stiles said, suddenly serious. “So if this is something you really want to do, we can. But if you don’t, we can do something else, and I’ll be completely okay with it. I’m serious, Derek.” 

Stiles’ heartbeat was steady, so he was telling the truth. And Derek thought about how much he _really_ didn’t want to go in the haunted corn maze. But when he looked at Stiles and he thought about how open Stiles had been about himself when they’d first started dating, and how he’d let Derek into his life without a second thought, and Derek realized that if anyone deserved to know that he was a werewolf, it was Stiles.

“I’m sure,” Derek said, grabbing Stiles’ face in both hands and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “We can do this.”  
“Your fangs are pokey,” Stiles said, grinning as they pulled apart. “They’re almost like real teeth. How much did you pay for that costume? It’s so realistic. Could I try it on sometime?”

“Come on,” Derek said, rolling his eyes fondly and tugging Stiles toward the exit. “Let’s go before I decide this is a bad idea.”

***

It was a bad idea. 

It was _such_ a bad idea.

But Derek was already in the corn maze, so it wasn’t like he could go back out. At least not without looking like a scared loser. 

And then he would _never_ hear the end of it from Laura. 

“Can you stop hiding behind me?” Stiles giggled. “You’re the one with the muscles, Der. And how bad does it look that the _werewolf_ is hiding behind _Little Red Riding Hood_?” 

“Don’t care,” Derek whined, pressing his forehead against the back of Stiles’ neck in a desperate effort to get him to move faster. “Just want to go home.” 

“Der, we’re not even halfway— _JESUS FUCK_!” 

Stiles flinched violently as a screaming, grotesque zombie jumped out from behind some corn stalks and corralled him and Derek into back the way they came.

“No, no, no, we’re going the wrong way,” Derek whined, squeezing his eyes shut while trying to keep himself under control. “Stiles, make him go away. Stiles?” 

Derek cracked one eye open to find Stiles bent over with his hands on his knees shaking with laughter and the zombie nowhere to be found. 

“Oh my God, your _face_ ,” he said in between giggles. “That was _hilarious_. I wish you could’ve seen—Derek, that was so funny. Holy cow.” 

“It wasn’t that funny,” Derek grumbled. 

***

“Something’s gonna pop out. Something’s gonna pop out. Something’s gonna pop out. Something’s gonna— _WHAT THE FUCK_?”

“You knew it was coming!” Stiles said, leaning on Derek’s shoulder as his body shook with laughter. “You were psyching yourself up for it. Oh my God, Derek. You’re too much.” 

“I hate this,” Derek grumbled, glaring at the zombie as he returned to his hiding spot into the maze.

***

“We can see you!” Stiles called, pointing at the zombie who was doing a _terrible_ job trying to blend in with the corn stalks. He was just standing there. “We can totally see you!” 

“He’s not so scary,” Derek murmured, though he didn’t know who he was trying to convince more; Stiles or himself. 

“Totally,” Stiles agreed. “At least he’s not hiding in a wheelbarrow like the last one.” 

“That wasn’t fair,” Derek retorted. “I wasn’t expecting him to _hide in corn_.” 

“That was the point,” Stiles said, laughing at the memory. “I thought you were going to pee your pants. The noise you made was _priceless_.” 

“Was not.” 

“Derek, it’s _okay_ ,” Stiles said, turning around and rubbing Derek’s shoulders. “You’re freaked. You don’t have to keep trying to deny it. Besides I’m still trying to figure out if that noise you made qualifies as a growl or a squeak.” 

“Growl,” Derek muttered, knowing full well that he’d squeaked like a little girl when the zombie had burst out of the corn. He’d tried to save it by growling at the end, but it had been too late. Stiles had already started cracking up, and he’d been pretty sure that the zombie had chuckled as he’d returned to his hiding place. 

“Whatever you say, Derek,” Stiles said, rolling his eyes. “Come on, I think we’re almost done.” 

“That zombie still hasn’t moved,” Derek said, jutting his chin in the direction of the super obvious zombie.

“I don’t know, Der, maybe he’s a freebie or something,” Stiles said, shrugging. “Come on, the quicker we get by him, the quicker we can go home. Do you want me to go first?” 

“Please.” 

“Such a scaredy-wolf,” Stiles tutted, gently flicking Derek on the nose. 

Stiles walked right past the zombie and stopped right in front of him and under no circumstances did Derek hold his breath in anticipation. 

“You know I’m right here, right? Like _right_ in front of you, zombie man.” Stiles said, squinting into the zombie’s eyes. “Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to scare me?” 

“Stiles, don’t provoke him,” Derek called from a respectably safe distance away. 

“Can you hear me? Are you even real?” Stiles asked, waving his hands in front of the zombie’s face. “Yoo hoo?” 

When the zombie still didn’t move, Stiles turned back to Derek and shrugged almost apologetically. “I think this one’s a dud. He’s literally not moving at all. “I think you’re safe this time, Der.” 

“Are you sure?” Derek asked cautiously, still eyeing the zombie warily.

“Almost positive,” Stiles said, patting the zombie on the shoulder. “Look. Motionless.” 

“Alright,” Derek said hesitantly as he walked over to Stiles. He took slow, deliberate steps, keeping a wary eye on the zombie. Stiles had said that the coast was clear, but there was a still a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that the zombie was going to jump out at him when he least expected it.

But as he got nearer and nearer to the zombie, it remained motionless and Derek assumed he was in the clear.

So, of course the moment he passed the zombie’s direct line of vision, the zombie lunged for him from behind and made a noise that Derek could only describe as horrifying. He flinched violently and quickly retreated to the ‘safety’ of Stiles, and put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. 

“No, no, _no_!,” Derek shouted, glaring at the zombie. “ _Why_ would you _do_ that?” He suddenly became aware of some added pressure on his shoulder blades and realized that Stiles was leaning on him because he was laughing so hard. 

“Oh my God, I can’t,” Stiles wheezed, wiping tears out of his eyes. “That was… Holy fuck, that was the funniest thing I have seen all _night_.” 

“It wasn’t _that_ funny, Stiles.”

“You had no _idea_.” Stiles said, still leaning against Derek. “That literally could not have worked out any better. _How_ did you not see that coming?”

Suddenly, Derek really wished that they were almost to the end of the corn maze. 

***

“This is fun. This is so. much. fun. It should be illegal how much fun we’re having. Right, Stiles?” 

“If you say so, Derek,” Stiles said. And Derek could practically _hear_ the grin on his face. 

“No I’m serious, we should come here every year,” Derek said, looking straight ahead. No more zombies were going to sneak up on him for the rest of the night.

“If that’s what you want to do, then we’ll do it, Der.” 

“I don’t even know why I was so afraid about coming here. This isn’t even that bad.” 

“I know, Der. It’s a lot of fun.”

“So much fun. A zombie could pop out at me right now, and I would probably laugh in it’s face. 

Derek turned a corner in the maze, a zombie popped out, and Derek screamed in its face and hid behind Stiles. 

***

Once Stiles had been able to regain his composure from _actually rolling around in the dirt_ from laughing so hard, (seriously, Derek was not going to listen to him complain about how he got his favorite sweatshirt dirty) they continued to navigate their way through the corn maze. 

“No, Stiles do we _have_ to go in the haunted house?” 

“It’s a farmhouse, Derek. And yes, we do. The sign even says, ‘corn maze through here.’ I don’t think they’re going to give us a much clearer message than that.”

“Yeah, but no one’s going to know if we just go around it, right?” 

Stiles rolled his eyes and pushed the farmhouse door open.

“Trick or treat!” he hollered. 

“Stiles, now everyone knows that we’re _here_ ,” Derek hissed, sticking as close to Stiles as possible. There was no way he was going to let Stiles more than ten feet away from him, especially now that they were in a haunted house.

“That was the point,” Stiles said. “All the better to scare you with, my dear,” he added, imitating the big bad wolf from the Little Red Riding Hood. 

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“No, I’m pretty sure your line is screaming bloody murder at the top of your lungs every time you see a zombie.”

“It is not.” 

“ _Really_ ,” Stiles said, raising an eyebrow. “So when you turn around in about five seconds and see that there’s a zombie breathing down your neck, you’re _not_ going to scream bloody murder.” 

“No.” 

“Prove it then,” Stiles said smugly. “Turn around and _don’t_ scream at the top of your lungs.” 

Derek slowly turned around and found himself face to face with yet another zombie. 

“GRRAAAWWWWRRRHHHH!” 

Derek was ashamed to say that he screamed at the top of his lungs.

***

“ _Please_ say we’re almost done.”

“We’re almost done.” 

“You’re just saying that.” 

“You just _asked_ me to say that, Der.” 

“I know… but are we almost done? For real.” 

“I think so,” Stiles said, shaking his head fondly. “Look, there’s the exit right now.” 

Derek let out a huge sigh of relief when he saw the exit sign and a crowd of people milling around it with pumpkin trick or treat baskets and Styrofoam cups of hot chocolate. 

“We did it,” he sighed, wrapping an arm around Stiles’ shoulders and pulling him close. “We did it.” 

“ _Derek_.” 

Derek turned around slowly and saw that three zombies were stumbling towards him and Stiles, arms outstretched like they were reaching for him. 

“ _Don’t leave us, Derek_.” 

“ _Come back and play, Derek_.”

“ _We promise we won’t scare you anymore, Derek_.”

“Stiles, they’re saying my name, _they’re saying my name_ ,” Derek whined as he bolted for the exit. 

He could still hear the zombies calling him, but they were barely discernable over Stiles’ hoots of laughter. 

***

“Best first date ever,” Stiles said, sipping on his hot chocolate. “Also, great idea on bringing us up to the peak to drink it. There were way too many kids running around for me to really enjoy it. Plus it’s really nice to watch the moon while sitting in my jeep.” 

“Ah, yeah,” Derek said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Look, Stiles, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while now. It’s really important but I haven’t really found the right time to tell you. But I really like you and you deserve to know and—”

“Hold that thought,” Stiles said. He peeled out of his sweatshirt and tossed it into the backseat. “Sorry, all I could smell was dirt. That’s going to be a bitch to clean.” 

“You’re the one who was rolling around on the ground from laughing so hard,” Derek deadpanned. “I have no sympathy for you. 

“You honestly have no idea how funny you were. God, I wish you could see it someday.” 

“I’ll take a rain check.” 

“Hey, do you want to get out of your costume?” Stiles asked, poking at Derek’s brow. “Halloween’s pretty much over, and as realistic as that costume looks, I’m betting it can’t be that comfortable. 

“It’s, um, it’s not a costume,” Derek said quietly. 

Stiles blinked twice. “I’m sorry, what?” 

“It’s not a costume,” Derek said, taking a deep breath and facing Stiles. “It’s my beta form. I’m, um, I’m a werewolf, Stiles.” 

Derek held his breath as a wide variety of emotions passed over Stiles’ face. Derek tried keeping track of them, but they flickered for a fleeting instant and then a different one replaced them. 

“Fucking finally,” Stiles said, after what felt like an eternity of silence. “Wow, I thought you were never going to tell me.” 

Derek’s brain just about short-circuited. “You _knew_?” 

“I had a hunch,” Stiles said, grinning cheekily. “I mean, come on, Derek. We’ve been dating for nine months. You really think I didn’t pick up on your wolfy habits?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, they’re subtle on their own, but then they started to add up. You always seem to know what’s for dinner, just by sniffing the air. You always stop making out with me because you ‘need a break’ but then my dad walks in the door thirty seconds later. And I swear I hear you purr a little bit whenever we cuddle at the end of a movie.”

“I don’t purr.” 

“Okay, growl all friendly-like, whatever you want to call it,” Stiles said, smirking and rolling his eyes. “But I still think it’s purring. And even if I didn’t figure it out from those things, your eyes _definitely_ started glowing every time you got scared tonight, and your fangs kept magically disappearing and reappearing. I think it had to do with your werewolf fight or flight response. Though in your case it was a lot more flight than fight.”

“I can’t believe this,” Derek muttered. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew?” 

“Well, I didn’t know for sure until I talked to your mom and sisters,” Stiles explained. “I went over there a while back to ask if they had superhuman senses like you, and Laura totally called me out on it.” 

“Fucking Laura,” Derek growled. 

“But now the cat’s out of the bag, can I see?” Stiles asked excitedly. “I’ve been wanting to see you up close and personal forever, Der. Show me your fangs.”

“I still can’t believe you knew this whole time,” Derek said, but he popped his fangs out and bared his teeth at Stiles. 

“What can I say, not a lot gets past me,” Stiles said, grinning as he lightly ran his fingers over Derek’s fangs. “This is so cool, Der. This is so awesome. You’re awesome,” he added, kissing Derek gently.

“You’re awesome too,” Derek said, kissing back. 

“I know,” Stiles said, smiling softly and resting his head on Derek’s shoulder. They stayed quiet for a couple of minutes watching the moon when Stiles broke the comfortable silence. 

“Thanks for taking me out tonight, Der. I had a lot of fun.” 

“You’re wel—wait,” Derek said, shrugging Stiles off of his shoulder. “You all set me up!” 

“What are you talking about?” Stiles said, eyes bright with mischief and absolutely _devoid_ of innocence. 

“Oh no, no, no,” Derek said, burying his face in his hands. “Don’t play dumb, Stiles. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” 

“I really don’t,” Stiles said, struggling to keep a straight face. 

“The whole reason I bought you here was because my mom and sister’s thought that it would be a perfect way for me to tell you that I was a werewolf. But if you already knew…” 

“You’re almost there, Sherlock,” Stiles said, now full on smirking at him. 

“Just take me home,” Derek whined. “Let’s just get this over with.” 

***

“Wait, wait, wait, here it comes! This is my favorite part!” 

Derek shook his head fondly as he watched Stiles and his family re-watched the video footage of him and Stiles going through the Haunted Corn Maze. His family had paid a cameraman to follow them at a discreet distance and capture all of Derek’s reactions on camera. Cora tried to say that it had been her idea, but Derek based on the way that Laura and Stiles could barely keep themselves together, he knew they were the masterminds behind the whole thing. 

Derek heard himself scream and the entire living room broke out into laughter again.

“Oh my God, this is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” Laura said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Derek, your face. I can’t even.”

“So glad you’re all enjoying this,” he added, glaring at everyone in the room. 

“Oh come on, Der,” Stiles said, pausing his giggles just long enough to wriggle closer up against Derek’s body. “Don’t act like it’s not hilarious. You make for great TV.” 

“I’m breaking up with you.” 

“No, you’re not,” Stiles said, quirking an eyebrow. “You do that, and I’ll make sure this video goes viral. I’ll have Danny hack Youtube.” 

“You wouldn’t,” Derek said, eyes widening. 

“Looks like you better keep me around,” Stiles said. 

TV Derek screamed again and the whole house broke into another round of laughter. 

“This is awful,” Derek muttered. 

“It’s really not so bad,” Stiles replied. “Next year you’re taking me to the haunted mansion. It’s _way_ scarier.”


End file.
